1. Who’s the best team in the area?

If you’re talking about who’d be the last one standing if they held an all-day gridiron grudge match on one field, with 14 teams participating? (Imagine the parking overflow for that one.) Well, our guess is Mark Morris, which is seeking its third straight trip to state. The Monarchs have speed, size and experience — not to mention a backfield that goes six deep.

2. Can Mark Morris dethrone Hockinson as Greater 2A League champion and advance beyond the first round of state?

Yes and yes. Hockinson runs a similar offense to Mark Morris, a Wing-T with plenty of misdirection and play fakes. But MM will have more of a passing threat than the Hawks, so look for a change at the top — if the Monarchs can avoid key injuries. As for state, it’s way too early to wander very deep into those waters.

3. Who has the best pep band?

Music is in the ear of the beholder, so you’d likely get 10 different answers if you asked 10 different fans. Then again, it’s difficult to beat the Kelso pep band under the lights at a jam-packed Schroeder Field. It’s the sound, the tradition … and the hats.

4. Which Class 2B team will rise up this year?

Three years ago it was Toutle Lake, which advanced to the state title game in the Tacoma Dome before losing to private-school power DeSales. Two years ago, Naselle made a surprising run to the quarterfinals, then backed it up last season by making the semifinals before dropping a close game to eventual state champ Napavine in the Dome. This time? Could be either one. Or perhaps Wahkiakum. One thing is for sure — the small schools take their football very seriously.

5. Is Gridiron Grump a real person?

Ah yes, the Grump. Well, he’s coming back this fall (see Friday’s Sports section) to regale us with his football knowledge (questionable at best) and wit (sharp, like old cheese). Love him or hate him, he intends to entertain. As for him being “real?” Well, somebody writes all that … stuff.

6. Can Kelso compete with the big boys in its second year at the Class 4A level?

Absolutely. Last season, in their re-return to 4A, the young Hilanders went 3-1 in the preseason before dropping all five of their Greater St. Helens 4A League contests by an average of 42-16. But Kelso was competitive in some of those losses, and with about 80 percent of their starters returning, the Golden Domers should be a lot more competitive in ’09.

7. Who has the best game-night atmosphere?

Tough to beat Longview Memorial for the Civil War. Or Kalama Stadium for a key Trico clash. But week in, week out, it’s got to be Rocket Stadium at Castle Rock. It starts an hour before kickoff with the unmistakable aroma of grilled burgers and finishes three hours later with a raucous, standing-room-only crowd applauding those boys in red. A consistently fun experience.

8. What about food?

What about it? You’ll find it at every game and 99 percent of it is darn good. But the real question is: Does anyone serve a piping-hot dish of Frito pie?

9. Which local teams will make the state playoffs?

The only one that’s as close to a sure thing is Rainier. The Columbians are loaded — again — and should cruise through the Lewis and Clark 3A League. Oregon, unlike Washington, doesn’t have any goofy district crossover games to qualify for state. If you win your league, you go to state.

10. In the words of that great American statesman Hank Williams Jr., are you ready for some football?

You better be. Toe meets leather in one day.