Compiled by The Daily News

Editor's Note: The following comments represent journal or blog entries from members of Longview-based Bravo Battery and their immediate family members.

Part of the U.S. Army National Guard 81st Armored Brigade, Bravo left July 12 for its annual training in Yakima. After a brief stay back home, Bravo members left for Fort McCoy in Wisconsin on Aug. 22.

In November, the unit deployed to an undisclosed location in northern Iraq. It traveled to Saudi Arabia for its first Iraq War tour in 2004.

Included are comments from Sgt. Josh Albright and wife Sung Ja Albright of Kelso, Spc. Chris Merwin and wife Alicia Merwin of Kalama and Spc. Tutulu Kaumatule of Vancouver and Sfc. Christopher Bailey, the Readiness NCO and senior full-time member of Bravo Battery.

Previous Bravo Blog installments:

Training at Fort McCoy in Wisconsin

Training in Yakima

Related articles:

Local guard gets second call to war  (March 21, 2008)

Bravo to Iraq: Local Guardsmen prepare for looming deployment  (June 15, 2008)

Bravo Battery headed to Yakima before Iraq deployment  (July 12, 2008)

Related tdn.com videos:

Bravo Battery Prepares

Bravo to Iraq 1

Bravo to Iraq 2

Bravo to Iraq 3

Posted July 7

Sung Ja Albright (July 3)

As I type this final blog, I am a little apprehensive and nervous. Josh is on his final mission, and although I'm happy it's his last one, it is a 24-hour mission. It's not a very safe mission, and so I'm left here just waiting for the next 14 hours to be over with!

It's been a rough year, and I think that overall we have done OK for being separated. Sure there have been obstacles, but we got through them, and now the end is in sight! It's a relief to think that in just a few short weeks, our family will be together again. I know the kids have missed him, and I look back at the pictures from when Josh first left to pictures I have taken in the past week and they have changed so much.

Putting things in perspective, Josh left when Payton was a little over 8 weeks old for training, and now she is almost 14 months old, and close to walking. Dylan had his first year of all-day kindergarten, and Josh missed the entire school year. After getting our autism diagnosis with our oldest son this year, our schedule is now full of therapies and appointments, and it will be nice to have Josh here to help out and be a part of everything. (It will be nice just to have him back in general!)

I do feel sad for all the couples who struggled during this deployment — the divorce rate among military couples is high, and I know there are couples that were not as lucky as Josh and I. It definitely takes a huge toll on a marriage, and I am grateful that Josh and I are just stronger and closer from the separation. I am also grateful that our guys will be coming home in one piece, and that there have been no casualties among his unit. I thank everyone who took an interest in our stories, and thank all our friends and family who supported us this year during the difficult times. I'm hoping that this 4th of July people will take time to remember not only the date of our independance, but our troops as well who still fight for our freedoms. Have a safe and happy holiday, and thanks for reading!

Posted June 18

Spc. Tutulu Kaumatule (June 18)

Hey sorry for not writing in a while. I've been a little busy. I have been great. I'm here with a great group of guys and we have had a ton of good laughs. Never a slow day in Bravo B'TRY. I'd like to thank all at home who keep us in thier prayers. I really love that poeple back home do care and I would just like to thank them all. Just can't wait to get home, to see my son and my family. That's all I want.

Posted June 16

Alicia Merwin (June 11)

There is more anxiety now then ever waiting for Chris' return. The time seems to still be flying by, but every now and then I think that it pauses just long enough for me to remember how much I miss him. Things around here have been very busy. Sometimes I feel like I am getting a little worn down, but just then I will get a pick-me-up call from Chris and I will get to feeling better.

When you look at the calender it does not seem like that long, but when you are alone the days seem to double. We are very excited for Chris' return and hope that time could only fly by faster for this short amount of time. Thank you for your interest in our blog and sorry for the laps in entries from me.

Posted April 24

SFC Chris Bailey (April 21)

We are now entering our last three months here in Iraq. We have just begun to develop timelines for completing our Relief In Place-Turnover Of Authority (RIP-TOA). These are very exciting times for alot of the guys, but we also realize they are the most crucial, and can make things more difficult on each and every soldier. As their focus starts to turn toward going home to families, it is easy for everyone to drift away from the job at hand. We are stressing to them the importance of staying focused on the mission and avoiding complacency, though we all know that is a huge challenge.

As we get closer to the unit's return, I personally start to think about reintegrating with my family. I realize that a lot of things will have changed. The kids are older, my wife Kim has learned to cope with the everyday things around the house without me, and I know I have changed a great deal myself. There will be alot of work to do in order to return my family and our home to "normal"…. and to think that this is my third time going through this. But it does make me think about how all of the soldiers and their young families going through this for the first time might react to the situation.

To the families:

1. Know that your soldier has changed, physically and mentally. It will obviously vary from one person to the next, but everyone here with us has changed to some degree. They have experienced things here in Iraq (good and bad) that will affect them for life. Realizing this in advance will make the reunion much easier for all involved.

2. Know that you and the rest of your family have changed. You have learned to get by the best you can without your soldier being around to assist. Your soldier will notice those differences, and that can make things much more difficult for the both of you. The bottom line is that no one should be too proud to admit that things have changed in your relationship. I recommend counseling for soldiers upon return, and strongly urge married couples to attend individual and marriage counseling. Your soldier will be afforded the opportunity to do so, and will also be given the information on how to obtain it. Whether it is through the VA, a Military Medical Treament Facility, or through an approved TriCare provider, the benefits are there for returning veterans, and soldiers and their families should be urged to capitialize on them. No one can do this alone.

Posted March 24

Sung Ja Albright (March 22)

As I type this blog, I know that Josh is somewhere on his way back to Iraq. After a wonderful (yet all too short) 15 days together, he is gone once more and it's back to "normal" life.

We tried to fit in as much as we could, taking the kids to Northwest trek, the Pacific Science Center, and then trying to see his family. Part of his trip was bittersweet — we got to see his family and cousins, some whom he hadn't seen in years. However it was because his grandfather passed away a week before he came home. Both of his grandfathers passed away while he was deployed within a month and a half of each other, and he was not able to see them before they went.

I know that for me, Josh leaving again is so much harder than it was the first time, and I'm sure he will say the same. Seeing the kids and how much they have grown was really hard on him. When he left the first time, both Payton and Cayden weren't really talking, and Dylan was more reserved and withdrawn. This time around Payton said "hi dada" and giggled every time he picked her up, Cayden is talking in full blown sentences, and Dylan was very open and talkative, and all 3 were VERY attached to Josh. They were much more real in his eyes, and more understanding of what was going on. It was hard to watch him say goodbye to them again. I have never left our children for more than a night, and I can't imagine having to say goodbye to them knowing it will be months before you see them again.

Our first night without him last night was a disaster. My 2-year-old woke up crying and asking for his daddy. He still doesn't quite understand why he was here and now he's gone. He looked for him yesterday once he woke up, looking under the sheets, thinking he was hiding, saying "come out daddy, where are you?". I'm just hoping that now we are almost done with the deployment, that the time will go by much faster. For me, it was so nice to have that extra set of hands around the house, the help with the kids. We got to watch our favorite shows together and it was nice to have someone laughing by my side.

Not having to worry about his safety every day was a nice break for my stress level. Now it's back to worrying that each mortar attack will be just a little closer to where he is. The nice part is that I feel our marriage has gotten much stronger, because now we have learned to appreciate everything we have together. You hear about soldiers whose marriages are ending in divorce already, and I'm just so grateful that we are still going strong. I am hoping that our lives will get back into a good routine, and that the kids will not have as many problems as they did the first time. We have already experienced problems with our 5-year-old acting out at school, and I"m hoping that it doesn't get worse now that Josh is gone again. Every day is a struggle for us, but somehow we will get through it and then (crossing my fingers) we will be all done for good.

Posted March 16

Alicia Merwin (March 15)

Chris finally got home and we had such a good time. Lilea had grown so much, but she knew just who he was. We did some pretty fun stuff when he was home, we went skydiving and had dinners with family. It was surprisingly easy not to think about the fact that he had to leave again soon. Being together as a family again was so great and refreshing, I feel that it gave me the strength that I needed to get through this deployment.

Saying goodbye again was hard, but I know that this time will be short and he will be back home before I know it. We are planning to have a ninty day count down to help the time go by faster. Lilea has been sure to keep me busy which is sure to keep time flying by.

Trying to get back into a schedule talking to Chris has been confusing, he is up at different time then he used to be. We are excited that you are taking interest in our family and the Bravo Blog. I will try to keep up with the time and tell you things that are going on with our family.

Posted March 3

SFC Chris Bailey (March 1)

Things have really begun to pick up recently, and we have been pretty busy. When the guys aren’t out on missions, they are training and making other preparations for when they do go out. The nature of what we do in 1st Platoon does not afford us preparation time once we get word to go out.

All in all, we are very pleased with how things have gone so far. From top to bottom, every guy has worked extremely hard, and it has really paid off. As we make a push down the homefront, I expect the same hard work and determination will continue, and we will bring everyone home to their loved ones.

Some of our soldiers have already been home on leave for a much-needed and well-deserved R&R. Those who have not yet had the opportunity will be coming home soon. I want to take a minute to address some concerns with regards to our soldiers and this leave period. First of all, it is not an easy task to plan every individual soldier’s leave schedule. Many things have to happen. Recently, the weather has not been cooperative. Sand storms and thunderstorms with heavy rain have kept planes grounded. Because of the requirement for all soldiers in country to pass through the theater hub in Kuwait, they are subject to delays at two “airports.” Although it is frustrating, I think we would all agree that putting a plane full of soldiers in the air during harsh conditions isn’t the best of ideas. Add this to our manning requirements here on the ground, and it really becomes a challenge to get that soldier back to his family on a specific date. Despite this frustration, we ask that everyone involved show a little patience. Believe me when I tell you that we want to do all we can to get soldiers home in a timely manner, but their safety is important first and foremost.

Now that we are heading down the home stretch, I would also like to talk about dates of our return for good. Really, the only thing that can be said is that they continue to change. Budget cuts and changing of personnel at the highest levels will, of course, affect the return date, along with a hundred other factors. Again, please be patient, and understand that if you have been given a date that the unit will return home, you have likely received bad information. Change is what the Army does best.

Lastly, I want to let everyone back home know that the soldiers of Bravo Battery are doing an outstanding job. Their focus is still strong, and their determination even stronger. I look forward to standing (somewhere) in Longview with every one of them as you welcome the unit home sometime late this summer.

Posted Feb. 23

Alicia Merwin (Feb. 17)

Tonight I am kind of upset, so the tone of this blog may be different from those in the past. Chris does get R&R and I am very thankful for that, however, he was supposed to be here a week ago. I just am tired of hearing him say on the phone that he will be pushed back another day. So much for all of our romantic plans, I have had to cancel so many things that I am just feeling pretty down tonight. It just seems like so many things have been going wrong lately and that is starting to wear on me. I miss Chris more and more everyday and now with the mix up with him coming home I just want to see him more then ever.

Lilea is sick and that is tough, too. I wish that I could just toss ideas back and forth with Chris. It is really the silly things like that that really get to me. I cannot talk to him about something that pops into my head, and I cannot make jokes with him about something silly on the TV. I do know that there are many things that I am able to do, it is just that lately it is harder to focus on those when that weight is getting heavier.

The real thing is that I get lonely after Lilea goes to bed, I want to feel any part of him, just a hand would do, something to lift my spirts, something to remind me that in reality this deployment is not really that long of a time period. Something to tell me other than words that he loves me and something to let him know that I love him. Standing so strong all the time sometimes you forget to let go and show that under that brave exterior that there is a real woman and she is scared every moment for her husbands life.

Posted Jan. 12

Sung Ja Albright (Jan. 12)

I can't believe it's already 2009. The holiday season seems to have flown by. However, ours did not go as smoothly as I would have liked. The boys had a hard time this year at Christmas. We got snowed in at our in-laws' house, and Dylan got sick on Christmas Eve. It was very hard for me this year, watching them spend Christmas in another house, not doing our normal traditions that we do with just our family.

Josh was able to watch the kids open presents on the Webcam, but it just doesn't do justice to the real thing. I know it was hard for Josh, to see them so far away, and see everyone enjoying themselves. I managed to send some Christmas cookies, but they got stuck in the mail, and didn't get there until weeks later.

The weather here has been so awful, and I know that the flooding here was a major concern for the unit, as many soldiers and families live here in the Longview/Kelso area. There were soldiers whose homes were damaged, and I know that it was very hard on them to feel like they are helpless. Josh and I spent time going over our emergency plan, and what to do in any kind of situation. It's a scary thought, that during a time of crisis, the person I depend on the most is gone, and I'm totally on my own. Thank goodness that we live in an area that the flooding did not affect. I thank my lucky stars that my children and I were kept safe.

I have been teaching my kids about the calendar and counting down until Josh comes home. My 2-year-old is so funny, because now he says "daddy in Iraq" and points to the computer. I think that he's under the impression that our computer is Iraq!

We have tried very hard to find time to talk everyday, and to be honest, I feel like we have talked more during his deployment than we did when he was home. Being separated really makes you value that time more, and change your outlook on things. We have already started compiling our list of things we want to do when he gets back. I am now just counting down until July, and hoping that he will make it back before our son's birthday! What a great present that would be!

I hope that everyone who reads this continues to keep our soldiers in their thoughts and prayers. They still have several months to go, and I know that I won't be able to breathe a sigh of relief until Josh is home safe and sound.

SSG Josh Albright (Jan. 11)

Eight Months ago, (Daily News reporter) Thacher Schmid came to my house and interviewed my family. He asked me a question that at the time I was not fully prepared to answer. The question was “What advantages or disadvantages does the National Guard have compared to the Regular Army?”

I have never been Regular army (RA); I have only ever been in the National Guard (NG), and on my previous deployment I worked under NG leadership. Eight months ago my answer was how civilian skills enhanced our collective pool of knowledge, and that our diversity brought an overall strength.

I still believe my answer to be accurate. However, over the past few months I have noticed other differences. Management styles stand out the most; RA manages from a much higher level, an example would be that in the NG, sleep schedules, physical training, weapons cleaning, etc. is managed by a Squad Leader and inspected by a Platoon Sergeant. The RA unit we are assigned to dictates those schedules to us.

This is a difficult adjustment for many of us to make. We are used to being creative with our time (normally we only have about 36 hours a month to train), and “coloring outside the lines” or looking for new/more efficient ways to do things doesn’t seem to be a priority to them. Again, I want to emphasize I have never worked for a RA unit before so my opinion is based solely on the one unit I currently work for.

The past month has been very uneventful for 1st Platoon, B Battery, here in Mosul. Unfortunately the same cannot be said for some of our families back home. The holiday season was supposed to be the most difficult time for all of us here, but the fear and worry brought on by extreme weather shadowed the loneliness. Fortunately, my family was able to get out of town to spend Christmas with family before the snowstorm hit and they stayed safe indoors when the rivers flooded.

Not all our families were so lucky. Some were stranded for days due to snow and ice, and others were evacuated before their house flooded.

It is agonizing being helpless. Some of the guys (although I’m sure they will never admit it) were in tears worrying about their loved ones back home. That’s the hardest part. It’s not birthdays, anniversaries or holidays. We still get to celebrate those events with phone calls, e-mail and gifts.

It’s the unexpected times when your family needs you and you can’t help.

Until next time, try to stay dry.

Josh

Spc. Christopher Merwin (Jan. 9)

The holidays are over and a lot missed this year. No watching Lilea open her first Christmas present, no New Year’s kiss with my amazing wife and I just missed the first steps that my wonderful baby girl took. I missed grandma’s famous oyster soup and the lovely BINGO stealing presents game we always play. It is a hard time of year so far away from family.

The holidays are all about hope and love … The U.S. soldiers have been away from their families in hope and with much love that what they are doing will make a difference. I can’t say full-heartedly that what we are doing will make a differences in this country, but there is always hope that something we do will make a lasting impression in Iraq, and in the future they can so happily enjoy all the things I have missed this year.

Alicia Merwin (Jan. 9)

Wow, does time go by fast or what? I was making a doctors appointment and the lady says, “OK, that will be Jan. 16, 2009.”

WHAT? That is really exciting. Chris has already made a big dent in his deployment. That means that he will be home even sooner.

I do have to say that overall this is going by faster than I even could have hoped that it would. Things do still get hard sometimes though. The other day I was really sick, and I think that that was harder on Chris and I emotionally then it was on my physically. I am lucky to have family around that was able to take care of Lilea for me that day. Chris wanted to be here to take care of me, and I wanted him here too, :).

I was thinking the other day how lucky we are to have modern technology, we have Web-cams and home movies on DVD, but I don’t think that it necessarily makes this any easier.

I am glad that all of you readers are interested in what is going with our family and I am making a resolution to keep up on my entries.

Lilea is getting so big, so fast. She is walking and learning about putting objects into containers, she is always making me smile.

Posted Dec. 18

Sung Ja Albright (Dec. 14)

Christmas is approaching, and I can't believe that the year is almost over. It's been a time of mixed emotions — talking to Josh about the holidays is hard on him, and makes him sad to know all that he is missing which in turn makes me sad. This month has been particularly hard for our little family — our daughter was diagnosed with some physical delays, and now is having to start therapy. On top of our oldest sons delays and therapies, I am now worried about my daughter's development as well.

It's hard to not have Josh to help with the kids, and it's a struggle for me every day to find enough time to work one on one with my kids on their various therapies, on top of keeping up with my 2-year-old, and keep up with my house, laundry, dishes, etc. I find that lately I'm just feeling a little bit lost, and overwhelmed with it all. Each day seems like it's harder than the next, and I'm struggling to feel like I'm "staying strong" for my family, when I feel most days like I can't keep it together. It is times like this that I wish our families were just a little closer, so we could have their help, but for now I'm just trying to make do with what I have. Christmas has always been a time for family, and it's hard when you know your family just isn't complete.

We have been fortunate enough to have our Webcam conversations, and the kids love seeing themselves on the computer, as well as seeing Josh on a regular basis. Now my 2-year-old can say "daddy Iraq" and I have a sneaky suspicion that he thinks our computer is Iraq! My oldest son likes to talk to Josh and tell him all the things he's learning in school, and I have been sending Josh some of his homework pages. Both the boys like wearing the headset microphone and talking into it to their daddy, and a favorite game of the boys is who can make the funniest faces in the camera. Payton enjoys looking at her daddy on the computer, but sometimes I can see that she doesn't quite know who she is looking at. I try and show her pictures all the time, and have Josh talk to her as much as possible, so that when he comes home he won't be a total stranger. We struggled when Josh came home from his first deployment with Dylan re-adjusting to having Josh around, and I am hoping to avoid that this time around. It's hard when they are just babies, because they don't have the memories like older kids do to remind them.

It's been very lonely preparing for the holidays, as Christmas is a favorite in our house. We are not having a tree this year, as we won't be home for Christmas and I just feel like it would be too hard with all the kids. I did put up our house decorations, but somehow this year it didn't cheer me up like usual. I think of what Josh will do on christmas, and it makes me so sad to think that we are separated yet again for another holiday. He has been saving all the presents that myself and our family have been sending him, so that he has a little something to look forward to. I am looking forward to tomorrow evening when my best friends and I are going to celebrate our christmas "Girls Night Out", and I can enjoy an evening with grown up conversation, and feel a little bit normal.

I hope that this holiday season people will really enjoy spending time with their families, and remember that not everyone is fortunate enough to have that gift. I hope that all the soldiers know that they are dearly missed, and greatly appreciated. Thank you to all in the community who have supported and prayed for our guys, and I thank all my great friends and family for the support and prayers. I would ask anyone who reads this that if they know of a family with a loved one overseas, to reach and support them in anyway possible during this holiday season.

Posted Dec. 11

SSG Josh Albright (Dec. 11)

Well it is almost Christmas and as I'm sure you can all imagine there is a fog of sadness over everyone's head. I have been in Mosul for about two months and just recently settled into my permanent housing and mission.

We are living in buildings (sort of a one-story apartment building) that have been modified by soldiers over the years with plywood and 2x4s so that everyone has their own room.

Most of us are very excited about our mission. We are conducting recovery security, which means that when something breaks down in or around Mosul we escort the tow trucks to the vehicle, secure the site, and escort them back. We spend most our time on standby waiting for someone on the other end of a radio to alert us of a mission. Some of the training we received for this mission included riding along with route clearance learning the different roads and exploring the city.

One thing that really shocked me was how the people of Mosul react to violence in their city. For the most part they pay very little attention to explosions and seem to not even notice the sounds of gun fire. I also noticed that kids are kids everywhere. Little boys playing "sword fight" with sticks, and kicking around a soccer ball. Little girls dressed up in pink picking flowers, and everyone of them waves and smiles when we drive by.

I hope everyone enjoys their holidays and gives thanks when they can be with their loved ones.

And don't think it is warm here just because it's the desert. Tonight the temperature dipped down to 31 degrees.

Posted Nov. 18

Sung Ja Albright (Nov. 18)

It's been a very busy time for our family these past few weeks, and while it was nice to stay busy, it seemed to make the separation a little bit harder. There were so many days that would have gone so much smoother had Josh been here to help with the kids, help around the house, and just be here in general to talk to.

The nights are still very lonely, and I think that is something that won't ever change. Since the guys have changed their mission, at least I have somewhat of a schedule that I know when I will hear from him. We have been able to talk on the phone, and on the computer, which has been nice. The boys enjoy seeing him on the computer, and still don't quite understand how daddy can be on the computer at the same time that they are! Cayden still asks about him and where he is, but now my 5 year old always tells him "daddy's in iraq", even though he really doesn't know what that means. He has just heard me say it so many times, that is the response that he knows.

Every once in awhile, Cayden will creep into our room and look under the covers, expecting to find Josh there, but I have to tell him that he's gone. It's frustrating to see the disappointment on my children's faces, but I know that it will be over soon. I look at the calendar and realize that we are almost halfway through the deployment, and while it has gone by fast, it has also been very slow.

I've been fortunate enough to have some great friends to help me get through this, and for that I am very thankful. Although they don't really understand what it's like, it just helps to have them there. I have been trying to keep Josh updated as much as I can with pictures and video. The biggest change has been Payton. Babies go through so many changes in the first year, that it's been hard for Josh to see her each time looking so different. We have just entered the solid food phase, and I think to myself that Josh will never have to feed her baby food- by the time he gets back she will be eating big girl food. Not that it's a big deal, but it makes me realize just how much he is missing.

When I tell him what the kids are up to, it's both a happy and sad time. He's always grateful to hear about the kids, but I know that it makes him sad to think that he is missing so much of their lives right now. I'm just trying to stay busy, and stay focused on being there for my children, so that Josh doesn't have to worry. It will be nice when we know the exact date he is coming home, and will help give us something to look forward to. For now though, I am just going to take it one day at a time, and hope that he is staying safe.

Posted Nov. 17

SFC Chris Bailey (Nov. 17)

It has definitely been different than any of my other deployments thus far. At first it was fairly slow as we started on our original mission of convoy security. But my platoon has begun the transition into an entirely different job, and the planning and coordination process has helped to pick the pace up a bit.

We are now moving into a recovery role, which will be totally separate from the rest of Bravo Battery.

Of course we will still be in close proximity to them.

Alicia Merwin (Nov. 15)

Things have been very busy around here. Keeping moving helps to make the days go by faster which is very helpful. I have been keeping very busy with Lilea, and family. It helps that Chris does have the internet we can chat and we have a webcam. He also has a phone through his computer so that he can be in his room and talk to me. We get to talk for about an hour in the morning and sometimes at night, which is very nice.

The most difficult part of him being gone is the companionship and Lilea’s daily life. She is changing so much and there are many choices that I have to make on my own. I miss Chris being there to say, no, not sweet potatoes tonight, how about some peaches and some yogurt. I am just trying to keep him as involved as possible in the things that she does, although now she is excelling very quickly now we are keeping up with her together.

With some of the other wives I find comfort that everything will eventually be just fine and Chris will be home before I know it. People who know my situation and what is happening are also very helpful and are always reaching out to help in any way possible.

Posted Oct. 20

Sfc. Christoper Bailey (Oct. 18):

I can tell you that we are in Kuwait right now in an acclimization status, and will be moving to our position in Iraq within a couple of weeks.

Things are not bad here. We are living in tight quarters for the time being, but that should change a little once we move north. Soon we will begin a final phase of training just to "polish" skills we have been working on for the last nine months, which will include a final live fire of our weapons to ensure they funtion properly, as well as conducting drivers training on some new vehicles that have been added to the inventory here in theater.

For now that is about all I have to share for the unit. I can send more information once we push north.

On a personal note, things are not bad. I miss my wife and family greatly, but that is to be expected, I guess. we have now been apart for the better part of three months, but it feels like years already. I do hope that when the tempo picks up, it will be easier to cope, and that I will not worry so much about how everyone is doing back home as much, allowing my focus to be elsewhere. Though that will never truly be the case.

Posted Oct. 17

Sung Ja Albright (Oct. 16):

I'm typing this right now, thinking of Josh as he heads off to Iraq. He got just a few minutes last night to call me as they were catching the flight from Maine to Germany. I'm guessing he's in Kuwait right about now, then off to Iraq.

Things have really gone by fast, but at the same time I feel like time is just dragging! It was especially hard to say goodbye to him on the phone last night, not knowing when he'll get the next chance to call me. Things were different while they were in Wisconsin. They had cell phone service, e-mail, and I always knew that he would always try and call me everyday. Now I have to sit and wait, not knowing what time, what day I'll hear from him. It makes the waiting a lot harder, and even longer.

He asked me to tell the kids goodbye, and it just made me so sad that I wasn't able to see him off, or that he wasn't able to see the kids one last time before he went. I've been trying to e-mail pictures to him, and we have received videos of him so that I can show the kids. Both the boys love watching the videos each day, and point out "daddy!" each time he comes on the screen. Payton doesn't really know him, so she sees him, but I don't know if that recognition is there or not.

I will continue to show her the videos, and if possible have him talk to her on the phone so that she is somewhat familiar with him once he comes back. She's already grown so much, and I know that just talking to Josh about the kids makes him sad that he's missing so much. It's a fine line —wanting to tell him about all the new things the kids are doing, but at the same time not wanting to make him sad and lonely….it's so tough.

It's hard trying to cultivate a marriage and raise your children via phone and e-mail. It's hard always being strong, but everyone expects you to be strong for your family, for your husband….sometimes I feel like "why do I have to be the strong one??"

I have had a difficult time with my 5-year-old acting out at school, and it all started once Josh left. I can't tell who it's hardest on — me or the kids. Sometimes I think it's easier for the kids because they don't quite understand what's going on … but on the other hand, it's hard on them too, for the same reason.

I'm trying to keep myself busy as much as possible, and I'm hoping it will pass the time. My family doesn't live around here, nor does Josh's family, so that makes it difficult as well, not having that support system nearby. It's a lonely life sometimes, and I find myself going stir crazy just for some adult conversation! I hope that all the people who read this realize just how much is sacrificed for soldiers and their families. It's a scary thing to have to go through, but hopefully the time will fly by, and they will all be home soon.