Three young adults have won prizes in The Daily News’ annual essay contest, Through My Eyes. Each shares a personal, distinctive view of how the misuse of drugs or alcohol can changes people’s lives.

This is the second year of the contest, the idea for which came from Brian McCrady of the Cowlitz Substance Abuse Coalition.

The entries were judged by Daily News reporter Tom Paulu, McCrady and two other members of the Coalition, Shellee Brassard, the intervention specialist at Kelso High School, and Denise Livingston, an ESD 112 prevention specialist who works at Cascade Middle School.

We thank the young people who took the time to share honest, sometimes painful, always gripping accounts of experiences with alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, heroin and meth, as well as unlawful use of prescription drugs. Several of the essays discuss the impact of living with a family member who is an addict.

Prize gift certificates were donated by the Kelso/Longview Elks, the Kelso Police Association and an anonymous donor.

“Through My Eyes” is the trademark of a similar project done in Brookings, Ore., sponsored by TheCitizensWhoCare.org

Help is available

For more information about substance abuse prevention and treatment, contact the Cowlitz Substance Abuse Coalition at (360) 577-3041.

Contest winners

First place: Tanner Lovingfoss, 22, Longview

'I’ve wasted four years of my life'

When I was in the fourth grade, I made a promise with my then-best friend. That promise was to never, under any circumstances smoke weed. Not that we had ever seen anybody smoke it, nor had we seen anyone that was high, we just thought it was a good idea. Now that I look back on it, it was.

Fast forward about 10 years and smoking weed seems to be the least of my worries. As I am writing this essay I have just under a year and two months clean from being addicted to opiates. My drug of choice for about four years was OxyContin. Toward the “downward spiral,” known as rock bottom, of my addiction I started using heroin. Compared to OxyContin, heroin is three times as cheap, just as potent, and addicting. “Oxys,” as they are known on the street, sell for $60 for an 80-milligram pill. For the same bang, you can get heroin for about $25. In high school, I was good at math, and the answer was simple … and cheap.

When I first started using pills, I would snort about 20 milligrams and be loaded out of my mind. I would mostly vomit all over and “nod” until my neck was sore. I was using about once a weekend. That’s how it started, once a week, then twice, and before I knew it every day. And that 20 milligrams became 80, and that 80 became 160, or at least $120 daily. I got the pills from kids my age who either stole them from family members or bought other people’s prescriptions off them for half the street value. The profit margin is huge, and there is a huge market for it in this community.

I used with all sorts of friends from across the social demographic. In my experience, addiction knows no boundaries. It doesn’t matter who you are; the social outcast or the prom king, it can grab hold of you. Toward the end of my addiction I started to use heroin because I lost my job and could no longer afford pills.

Now that I am clean, I can look back at all the things I have done because I needed to get my fix. At $60 a pill I had to get resourceful. I figure that in the four years I used, I spent more than $40,000 on drugs alone. In those same four years, my total taxable income was less than $15,000. I never sold drugs to get my fix. There was the occasional “homie hook-up” but I never sold for profit. I did what I had to do, and I had to steal.

I have done things that I would have never even dreamed of doing before I was using. I stole from my dad, mom, sister, grandparents and girlfriend — it didn’t matter who it was. When I was no longer able to steal, I knew I needed help. I had tried to quit on my own before, but it never worked. I would just end up lying and tell everyone I was clean, but I never was. I was not only lying to the people I loved but to myself as well. Right before I started attending the methadone clinic I lost my job because I was stealing from co-workers to support my addiction. That was the moment I hit rock bottom. Now when I say “rock bottom” I mean the lowest possible point people can be in their lives. Most addicts must hit this “bottom” before recovery can take place. Recovery must be for yourself and no one else.

For a week shy of one year ,I attended a methadone clinic for opioid dependants. I had to drive to Vancouver every day except Sunday to get my prescribed dose of methadone. Used correctly, the methadone program is very effective. For me it has saved not only my relationships with my girlfriend and family but my sanity as well. The treatment program included mandatory weekly group meetings, counseling sessions and random urine analyses.

Using opiates has cost me jobs, friendships, trust, money, self-respect, and most of all, time that I can never get back. I feel that I have wasted four years of my life, but it wasn’t all for nothing. I have learned many life lessons that I otherwise would not have experienced.

Right now Cowlitz County is experiencing an epidemic of drug use among teens and young adults. I have experienced this epidemic first-hand, having an addiction myself and living with a mother who was addicted to meth. I cannot directly speak about the meth problem in this area because I have never done meth before.

I can speak about the prescription pill problem. We live in an era when, for every illness or every problem you have, there is a pill to cure it or make it better.

It comes down to social acceptability. While neither doing heroin nor taking pills is acceptable, sitting down with friends and popping a couple pills is certainly seen as more acceptable than smoking heroin off of tin foil. That is why the pill problem in this town will only get worse before it gets better.

As of now, I am one year and two months clean, living a positive life with my fiancee and family. I hope my story can enlighten those who may be thinking about trying any type of drug.

Second place: Lacey L. Richards, 23, Kelso

‘I had hit rock bottom and I only could go up from here’

All through school and your childhood years you are told not to do drugs. I was, and I did, and I am here to tell you that it was the biggest mistake of my life. I am lucky to even be here to tell my story, so I feel that I need to reach out, tell it and hopefully touch someone.

I am almost 24 years old, and I have done things that I told myself I would never do because I was under the influence of drugs. Let me just tell you that I was the so-called “preppy kid” in school. I always got good grades, hung out with the “popular” kids in school, played sports year round and could have had anything that I wanted.

It was my 11th grade year in high school when I met this boy. A year after we were together I moved in with him. I had never even been to the Highlands before I met him, and this is where he and all his friends live. He started using cocaine behind my back. Well, I was so mad and one time I was drinking and he asked if I wanted to try it. My own boyfriend! Can you believe that? Well, I did. And that was the end of it. I ended up doing it for about a year, all the time. Then, it moved to pills, all kinds of pills, Vicodin, Percocet, anything. I have chronic neck and back pain and that was the only thing that got rid of the pain, until I was addicted! Then I tried an OxyContin. I started snorting them because that is what this boyfriend told me to do. He said it would help relieve the pain quicker. All this time this boyfriend is very abusive, making me feel useless, worthless, and beating me all along.

I ended up delivering some pills for him to a kid I went to school with who happened to be a confidential informant. Then, my b/f got caught stealing from a store. I went in with him, me and my daughter, we were browsing, while he stole something and because I was with him I got in trouble, too. I didn’t even know he was stealing. So I go to prison for six months (for the delivery and theft). I have never been in trouble before, ever. Before I went though, I started using heroin because there were no pills anywhere. That was the biggest mistake. You don’t have a choice to be addicted. You are, and it is the worst feeling ever. It is horrible having to do a drug just to be able to function everyday, being sick with cold sweats and chills and body aches if you don’t get high. It’s the worst feeling that I have ever felt.

Throughout this time I have lost everything. My job, my new car went back to the bank, my apartment, and worst of all, my daughter. My parents saw that I wasn‘t fit to take care of her when I was using and they were right. I had hit rock bottom and I only could go up from here. The only thing that I could do was get clean. That was not going to be easy. I ran into a really old friend that told me about a clinic she goes to and wanted to help me. I started to go to a methadone clinic. I am now eight months clean and I have gained back my rights with my daughter. Still looking for a job, the economy doesn‘t help but with my felonies that I now have to live with it makes it even harder.

I have come to realize that it is all about the lifestyle that you live and the people you surround it with. Live an honest and drug-free life and surround yourself with those kinds of people and I believe you will succeed. You can … only if you believe. Today I can say that I DO BELIEVE NOT ONLY ME, BUT IN YOU, TOO! Just say “no” to drugs, that is all it takes.

Third place: Abbot Amos, 23, Longview

‘Addiction has damaged my life in many ways, some in which I am still dealing with’

How is it that I have a disease that has no known cure? This I may never know. What I do know is that I have laid a foundation for my recovery, a foundation that is gaining in strength every day. Some of the reasons why I started using and where those choices have gotten me are where I would like to start.

I started using drugs when I was in middle school. I felt apart from everyone, that I did not belong. I wanted to fit in so bad I ended up getting involved with the wrong people. I started with marijuana, and that opened the doors to other drugs such as mushrooms, acid and then eventually meth. What I thought was fun was actually the start of my destructive path. By the time I was 14, I had used whatever there was. By the grace of God, I was saved by being punished. I was sent to a juvenile institution for 52 weeks for my destructive behavior. I thought I was on the road to my recovery after that. How was I so wrong? I did not build a foundation like I have today.

After more than four years, I allowed myself to be introduced to pain medication. After a year or so of using pills there was a bust, and my supply ran out. That was my excuse to start using heroin, saying, “I cannot get pills anymore, so this is what I have to do to be OK.”

Addiction is an expensive habit. After losing two very well-paying jobs, I had no other way to support my habit other than to do what I thought was OK, which for me at that time was selling drugs. The coming of easy money for me brought a whole new and even more expensive habit, gambling. Finally, what I thought was a lucky winning streak came to an end. I was involved in the April 15, 2009, heroin bust. I can remember the day they took me to jail. I could not use the phone for three hours, because of security reasons. When I was finally able to use the phone, my mom was the first person I called. All I can remember was her crying and blaming herself. I asked why she blamed herself, and she said that she felt bad she could not do anything to help me. All I could say was I am sorry, I am addicted to this drug and there was nothing you could have done. After sitting in jail for two months, I was sent to treatment for 90 days. Which today I can happily say saved my life. Addiction has damaged my life in many ways, some in which I am still dealing with.

Drugs can hurt not only the human body which consumes them, but those around you that do not. One of the biggest regrets I have is hurting my family when I used. I would lie, I would steal, and I would do whatever it took to get high. I have destroyed my credit and my parents’ as well. I am the kind of person that can put on a mask to hide any kind of emotion. I wore this mask when I was high, and was able to talk my mother into co-signing loans that I knew I did not need or could not afford. The worst part about it was I did it to the people that cared the most, knowing they were the only people that would forgive me. To this day I have not made amends to my parents. I know when the time is right I will be able to look them both in the eye, tell them how sorry I truly am for the pain I have caused, and how grateful I am for them not giving up on me.

Deep down I have always known that I have a problem with drugs. What is different today is that I understand that I am powerless over drugs and that my life had become unmanageable. When you wake up every morning and get high just to be able to function at work, your life is unmanageable. When you sell drugs that kill other people just to stay high, your life is unmanageable. I was asked in treatment to write down everything I had done that caused pain not only to me but to others. After I finished, I cried. As a child I always dreamed of growing up and being someone that others looked up to. Not the drug using, lying, cheating, stealing person that I had become. When I finished I made a promise to myself; a promise to give myself a chance to be that person. To this day I have kept that promise.

Recovery is a road that will never end, but every day is a better day for me. It is another day clean, without the use of drugs. There are hundreds of thousands of people all over this country with the same problem I have, a disease that has no known cure. These people do not let this stop them from living and succeeding in life. It is their success in the program that I am currently striving for. I can walk into the rooms of recovery and be welcomed, no matter what is happening in my life. I am not saying that once you get clean life is perfect and there are no longer any problems. I am saying is that there is always a place I can go to talk about problems, to get a better perspective on how to better handle them.

Now that I am in recovery I realize that my life is not necessarily going to get better, but it will be different. It may sound funny to someone who has no idea what it feels like to be an addict, but what they think is easy to accomplish is sometimes the hardest for an addict to even attempt.

Half of my life I have had to deal with addiction to drugs. I am still struggling with problems that occur not only in active addiction but in recovery as well.

I know that my addiction has allowed me to hurt many people. The people that truly care are here to see me succeed today.

There were many reasons why I wanted to write this essay. The one that made me want to submit it was that there could be someone out there in the same position I was once in needing to hear that there is life outside active addiction.