'Tis the season to be jolly, and blue
Monday, December 1, 2008 5:49 PM PST
By Leila Summers
Printable version
E-mail this articleCelebrating Christmas half-a-world away from friends and family gave John Lawless the holiday blues.
Lawless, now a Longview counselor in private practice, said he dealt with the loneliness by seeking out other Americans also living in Saudi Arabia in the 1980s.
“I remember being sad at that time,” he said, adding, but “I remember it was a time there were a lot of other Americans there in similar situations, and we would try to help each other.”
Feeling depressed or lonely during the winter holidays is common and understandable, local mental health experts say. The weather is cold and the sky is grey, and limited exposure to sunlight is linked to seasonal depression. In addition, people can feel overwhelmed with expectations — volunteering, shopping, cooking — that accompany the holidays.
To keep the holiday blues at bay, experts suggest plenty of outdoor activities, keeping a workable schedule and planning expenses ahead of time.
Exercise increases blood circulation and boosts serotonin and dopamine production, which improves a person’s emotional outlook, Longview counselor Pamela Kurthy advises.
It’s also important to go outside, exposing your eyes to outdoor light, which some experts believe also increases serotonin to the brain, she said.
Don’t let the rainy weather keep you indoors, Kurthy added. Spending time outdoors every day is a “good mental health” practice, she said.
“Even on some of the overcast days, the studies show you get more light from that (than) from sitting inside,” she said.
Getting outside and meeting people also will help people separated from friends and family during the holidays.
Lawless said people can feel better about their circumstances if they volunteer at a homeless shelter, Salvation Army or some other social cause.
“I have found and other people have found when we do something of an altruistic endeavour we’re putting our needs second place and focus on the needs of another person,” Lawless said.
The holidays can be a painful reminder for a person still mourning the death of a loved one. Longview psychologist Jeanne Fleming said it’s OK to honor the sadness that they feel, but she advises people to incorporate new traditions into the holiday to help them move forward.
“If you do things the same old way, you start dreading the holiday a few days ahead of time ... because you begin to think about who isn’t there,” Fleming said.
Lawless advises those who have recently lost a loved one to find comfort and support in friends and family.
“Don’t lock yourself away, even if you feel like it. Get around people, even if you don’t feel like it,” he said.
The economy is another potential downer for people this year. Layoffs, or the fear of future layoffs, leaves people less able or willing to spend money during the holidays.
“You’re coming into a time when normally a lot of money gets spent,” Lawless said. “Americans attach the spending of money to happiness.”
If money is tight, people should find ways other than gifts to show they care about friends and family, according to Paul Freeman, a psychologist at Lower Columbia Mental Health Center in Longview.
“Some people are stressed because they spend too much or because they can’t give as much as they want to,” Freeman said. “Caring for others is more important than the money we spend on them.”
If finances are a problem, focus on activities such as group walk or game that’s fun yet light on the pocketbook.
If anyone feels blue this holiday season for any reason, Fleming advises them to take a step back and look at their situation from different perspective.
“One of the things that is absolutely common, is people who have trouble differentiating what they want from the holidays for themselves and what they think other people want of them,” she said.
People who feel overwhelmed should sit down with a friend and talk about their obligations and make a list of priorities.
“If you get bogged down, go to this person, who has been a good friend, and say ‘Can I run this by you and figure out why I’m feeling this way?’ ” she said.
The holiday season also tends to jolt people out of their regular routines. They tend to overbook their schedules with holiday parties and events — such as church plays or bazaars — and feel overwhelmed as a result.
“They’re squeezing a lot more things into a small amount of time,” Fleming said.
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