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 Bravo Battery Spc. Christopher Merwin and his wife, Alicia, live in Kalama with their daughter Lilea. Greg Ebersole / The Daily News.
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Training in Yakima (updated Aug. 13)
Wednesday, August 13, 2008 10:14 AM PDT
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E-mail this articleCompiled by The Daily News
Editor's Note: The following comments represent journal or blog entries from three members of Longview-based Bravo Battery and their immediate family members.
Part of the U.S. Army National Guard 81st Armored Brigade, Bravo left July 12 for its annual training in Yakima. According to Sgt. Chris Bailey, Bravo members will return Aug. 8, then leave for advanced training at Fort McCoy in Wisconsin around Aug. 15. The unit will deploy to an undisclosed location in northern Iraq at an unknown time this fall, Bailey said. The unit traveled to Saudi Arabia for its first Iraq War tour in 2004.
Included are comments from Sgt. Josh Albright and wife Sung Ja Albright of Kelso, Spc. Chris Merwin and wife Alicia Merwin of Kalama and Spc. Tutulu Kaumatule of Vancouver.
Related articles:
Local guard gets second call to war (March 21)
Bravo to Iraq: Local Guardsmen prepare for looming deployment (June 15)
Bravo Battery headed to Yakima before Iraq deployment (July 12)
Posted Aug. 13
Sung Ja Albright (Aug. 4):
I have a few minutes now finally to myself ... which is very hard to come by given that I have 3 children under 6! I've tried keeping myself busy these past few weeks — I'm very involved in my MOPS group (Mothers of Preschoolers), and my friends have been so wonderful in supporting me.
It's very hard to think that as much as I am excited to see Josh when he gets home this week, he's leaving again in just a few more. Sometimes life just doesn't seem fair. I think about how much he has missed out on in the month he's been gone, then realize how much he will miss in a span of 12 months. First steps, first words, first day of kindergarten, they are all moments that we'll never get back. When our oldest son Dylan was 4 months old, Josh left for his first deployment. I think back on how much Josh missed with just 1 child — now add in another 2 — that's a whole lot of first's to miss out on.
I'm trying to get our finances and business in order, wills done, insurance, power of attorney- these are things that normal people just don't have to go through! What other 30-year-old even has a will made up? My middle child is such a daddy's boy, and he's had the hardest time with Josh being gone. It breaks my heart every morning when he gets up and asks me "where's daddy?" He's too young to understand, yet runs to the window every time he hears a truck go by, and looks in our bed every morning for his dad. We are going to try and spend as much time together as we can when he gets home, and I have learned that every moment possible together, no matter what we are doing, whether it be watching tv, playing with the kids, or even if we get in an argument with each other — we're blessed because we are at least together for it. For now....
Alicia Merwin (Aug. 6):
Chris gets to come home tomorrow, but it is kind of bitter sweet. I know that this will be only a short stay, I am really learning to value our time together as a couple and as a family.
There are a lot of different emotions that go along with the deployment. So many different feels are going through you and it really takes some time to sort them out. I am feeling more confident in our long distance relationship everyday and I hope that we will not have to start from square one once he leaves again.
I have never really understood the power of body language until now, having to really go into details about what is going on, and really trying to keep Chris feeling involved. I have gotten pretty good at noticing the little things in life. Keeping our long distance relationship skills strong will be very important for the both of us.
I have been keeping busy, though. My sister just had a little boy and I cannot believe that our daughter was once that small. She is growing by leaps and bounds. Trying to beat the weather is hard too, I am not a fan of the heat, walking towards the night is so much nicer.
Well, I thank you again for being interested in our family and what is happening with your local troops. I look forward to seeing your comments.
Thank you Grammydont. Talk to you all soon.
Posted July 21, 2008
Sgt. Josh Albright:
The first week is over and training has been fast and furious. Tulu (Spc. Tululu Kaumatule) and Chris (Spc. Chris Merwin) may not have the opportunity to write this week as we have been very busy spending most days either shooting the M203 (40mm grenade launcher), throwing grenades, or qualifying with our individual weapons. When we are not at weapons ranges we are either training on small unit tactics, or convoy operations, or spending endless hours in lines waiting for our Soldier Readiness packets are in order. All this while trying to find time to spend a few minutes talking to our families.
Aside from the food being bad, not enough sleep, and the high temperatures (and all the other things all soldiers complain about) our stay here hasn't been too bad. I can see huge changes in our approach to training compared to our last deployment. The IED training we are receiving is impressive and to say the least.
On a personal note, I am looking forward to coming home for a few weeks in August. It's easy to forget how much you miss loved ones until you're gone for a while. Sung Ja tells me every night something new the kids are doing ... It's a strange mix of emotions falling somewhere between pure joy and heartache. Oh well, I will see them soon.
Josh
Sung Ja Albright:
Josh has been gone now officially for three days, yet they have been three of the longest days in my mind! The heat of course doesn't help, but now having gone through one of the worst days possible, it really doesn't help me at all! Having had no sleep last night, I had two kids crawl in bed with me at different hours of the night, two night feedings with Payton, and I could not seem to get comfortable at all in the heat! Both my boys were running fevers all day today, clinging to me, and just not wanting to do anything. Finally, a call from Josh comes — hurray!
For just a few minutes, we get to talk to Josh on the phone, and I have both the boys say hello to daddy. Yet once the call is over, Cayden (my 1 almost 2 year old) just starts bawling, and will not calm down. He just doesn't understand the phone yet, and how he can hear his daddy, but can't see him. He doesn't understand the concept of time yet, so telling him that he'll be home in just a few weeks, really doesn't help him. He gives the phone a kiss, and talks to his daddy, and keeps looking at the phone, wondering how his daddy got into such a tiny space! He clings to his blanket, yelling "dadda, dadda" and it just makes me sad for him. My 5 year old stays on the couch all day, not feeling well, and looks out the window, looking for Josh's truck, thinking he'll come home from work soon. Even the concept of time for him is a hard thing to grasp. He knows that Josh is gone, but the length of time is still a mystery.
Everyday I wake up, thinking "One day down, another one to go." That countdown to the end is always hard — you want your days to go faster, and you can't wait until it's finally time for them to come back. At night is always the hardest, when the kids are in bed, and that empty feeling comes creeping around. Nighttime is always the time that we get to spend together, watching a show, talking about our day, playing games, or just vegging out after picking up after the kids. It's hard to cram quality time together into a five minute phone conversation or a two sentence email. Of course, I appreciate that I get to talk to him at all, and the night's that I don't get to talk to him, I understand it's because he's in meetings, or too exhausted. I'm used to that after seven years of this. But it all changes once he boards that plane to Iraq, because then that's when the wait begins ... waiting for that first call to say that he made it safely, waiting for him to tell me how to contact him, and how often he'll be able to call, and waiting to find out when he can come home. But when he does call, I'll make sure the kids get to talk to him, even if it's only for a minute or two, because I know that Josh needs to hear them just as much as they need to hear his voice. So now I'll go and finish some housework, and wait to see if he'll get a chance to call tonight, knowing that I may or may not get a chance to hear from him at all. But if I do, even for a few minutes, it will make my night go by that much quicker.
Alicia Merwin:
Time does not stand still for you when you would like a moment to think about what is going on and what to do about the situation. Although having said that, there isn't much you can do. I do miss Chris every day. It is the small things that really make me remember that this is not just a regular year of training, and that when he gets home he will only have to go again. When Lilea reaches milestones it is always bittersweet.
Our little girl is growing up faster then I thought was possible. The new things that she does every day really amaze me. She is really wanting to crawl, and moving around a lot more. My sister is getting ready to have her little baby boy pretty soon here so that gives me something to look forward to.
It always feels like something is missing. I wait for Chris to call me and hope that it will be more often then the day before. Really though there is no substitute for him being gone from home. I am kind of glad though that this year has started because we don't have to think about it anymore. The wheels are turning and time will keep on moving forward whether we are ready for it to or not. I know that this experience will only make our relationship stronger and teach us how to value our time together even more.
I really appreciate your interest in our family and the unit's deployment. I look forward to reading your comments.
Posted July 14, 2008
Alicia Merwin:
Well, where to start? I was thinking about this and curious as to what I should write in here. I have been just trying not to really think about what is going on, hoping that it might help to slow the time, but that is not working out quite the way that I had hoped. When every day goes by so fast it is hard not to see the calendar and say, how did this happen, where has time gone? To most people one month doesn't really sound like that long, and any other year it would just be a regular annual training. But knowing that the month will come and go, and when they get home there will only be more preparing for a longer trip. The 12th really feels, to me anyhow, more like the beginning of the deployment.
Having this be the first year of our little girl’s life it is hard not to get down every once and awhile, thinking about all the big firsts that he will not be here for. I try to keep in mind however, that she will not remember those days, and he will be here for the things that she will remember. Between Chris and I both we are both just trying to think of creative ways to keep each other up to date on daily events while we are not together. This week we are going to buy a camcorder so that I can send him DVDs of what we are doing at home. Hopefully for even that short time he will not feel so far away from his family. For now though while he is home we are keeping the moments close and the time far from our minds.
Thank you for your interest in our story. And I look forward to hearing your comments.
Sgt. Josh Albright:
I have procrastinated writing this for several days mainly because putting it on paper makes leaving that much more real. I have packed my bags and removed them from the house so hopefully I can spend as much quality time with the family as possible. I have done everything I can think of to avoid the facing the fact that I'm leaving for a year. How do I explain to a boy who turns five on the day I leave just how long a year is? I guess you can tell them "it's the time between Santa visits" or "I'll be back just in time for your 6th birthday."
Right now I am just trying to spend as much quality time with the family as possible, however that's hard to do when there are so many thing that need to get done both at work and at home prior to leaving. I am jealous of some of my friends in the unit who left their job before the 4th of July. They are out spending time with their families, going on Hawaiian vacations, to the beach, and hiking. My job is full-time here at the Longview Armory and the only vacation I have to look forward to is a month or so when we return from Iraq.
Soon e-mail and brief phone calls will be the only way for us to communicate.
Hopefully I have done enough to prepare my family for my absence.
Spc. Tutulu Kaumatule:
Sorry I’m sending this so late, but I’m glad my chief reminded me about it. My Fourth of July was a great and very long day. Some of my family members came from Hawaii, California, and some came from Texas to spend time with me before I leave. I was with friends and family, and to me you can't get better than that. We had a big BBQ and lots of food. This was probably the best Fourth I've had in my whole life. It's just that I know I won’t be seeing my family for a while and that hurts cause my family is always there for me. Knowing this is kind of hard, because I’m going to be on the other side of the world.
I’m just going to have to realize that my family will be there with me in their prayers. I really can’t wait to leave so that I can start looking forward to coming back home. My family will be my source of motivation. The thoughts of them will keep me from going insane. All I want is to come back home and spend time with my family.
Sung Ja Albright:
I'm typing this blog as I'm listening to my 1-year-old whining for more juice, my 4-year-old playing with the baby and watching cartoons, and my 8-week-old has just finished yet another feeding. Sometimes I feel like I don't even have time to think about Josh leaving. It's so hard thinking about the next few hours of my day, let alone the next year of our lives. I've had a huge pile of Josh's gear just sitting by the front door, all waiting to be taken down to the armory for their Annual Training on Saturday. Really though, it's all the gear he will need for his deployment as well, sitting there as a daily reminder of what's to come. It puts a smile to my face as I watch my 4-year-old, so proud that he's helping daddy pack his stuff. It still hasn’t sunk in that he's leaving – I've gone through his AT every year for the past 7 years, and he's always been gone for at least 3 weeks, so this isn't anything new. However, leaving for Iraq two weeks after he comes back is.
It's hard to think that he's leaving us for a year – this week has been full of doctor's appointments and annual check-ups, and to everyone else it seems we're just a normal family. However in the car rides, talk isn't lighthearted and questions about one’s day. We have been talking about planning wills, power of attorney, life insurance, getting our daughter enrolled in our health insurance ... the list seems to go on and on. And even while we talk about what needs to be done, I still feel that it hasn't really clicked in my brain that Josh is leaving. In my head, I'm piling up my to do list for things that have to be done before he goes. I haven't actually thought about the part when he's really gone. It's too hard to think that far, and part of me just doesn't want to think about it at all. I know that when I do think about it, I'll break down, and I'm just not ready to do that yet. I have to be strong for Josh so that he knows things will be okay while he's gone. I have to be strong for my 3 children, who won't understand what's happening. So for now, I'm pushing my feelings aside, and just trying to concentrate on what needs to be done.
When I do think about Josh's deployment, it's just sheer frustration that comes out. It's hard to help pack up things and sew on name patches, when I think of what he's going into, and why. I find myself constantly thinking how unfair things are – we've just had a new baby, and trying to get adjusted to that is hard enough. I can't help but feel frustrated at how I now have to rely on others to do the things that Josh would normally be able to do for us. Even something as simple as climbing up into the attic to get our Christmas decorations – Josh is the one that does that. Who's going to be my handyman around the house when something breaks? Who's going to take the kids off my hands in the evening when I just can't take anymore? And all because we are still in a war that I feel we should not be involved with in the first place, a war that already took its toll on our family four years ago! Yet here we are, years later, going through the same thing. Only this time around, we have three kids, not one, and I have to watch them all struggle with losing their daddy again. Only this time Dylan understands much more, and will ask me where daddy is, Cayden will cry and cry because daddy isn't home and won't understand that seeing him on a webcam doesn't mean he's close by, he won't understand that daddy can't come home for a long time, and Payton is so young, she won't really get to learn who her daddy is. He'll be a stranger to her when he comes back, and she'll have to get to know him all over again when he comes home. I know it took my oldest son a long time to adjust to having him back in our lives after the first deployment, and it broke my heart, seeing my son "meet" his daddy again. It breaks my heart to think my daughter will have to go through the same thing.
The day to day things now are getting harder to do. Josh leaves next Saturday, and in my mind, it seems like such a short time. But we keep going about our lives like nothing's going to change – we don't have a choice. We still have to get up in the night to feed the baby, we still have to comfort our son who wakes up having nightmares, we still have to change diapers, feed the kids, clean the house. Sometimes I feel it's a blessing that my days are so occupied, because it gives me less free time to think about the upcoming weeks. Even as I write this, Josh is running around the house, gathering things together to pack up, and we're discussing more items we need taken care of before he goes. Not a typical Saturday morning, that's for sure. I watch the stack of ACU gear stack up by the front door, and my first thought is "Josh, move your stuff! It's cluttering up the room!" Then I remember, removing that clutter means that he's gone. I guess for now I'm okay with the clutter in my house. At least it means that he's still here with us. Once it's gone, I know that I'll miss it. But for now, it's back to the ol' grind. I have to go feed the kids, and go pick up toys, and finish laundry – just another typical day in the Albright house. But now, the days are numbered, and even though I don't enjoy the mundane list of chores that we have to go through, at least I know that for a few more days, we can do the chores together as a family. After all, that's what's important, right?
Spc. Chris Merwin:
We are preparing for annual training in about four days before we leave for Yakima. We are putting the final touches on packing, paperwork, and trying to spend quality time with the family. So this is the start of the next year, and I'm already feeling the sadness that comes with leaving your family, but it also feels good to get deployment started. For the last year we have been anticipating this deployment; I'm ready to get this year started so we can get it finished and get back home safe to my family.
Our family had a great 4th of July; we had some good food, spent time with family, and just made the most of our time. I already miss my family and we haven't even left yet.
Grammydont wrote on Aug 3, 2008 6:40 AM:
just a joe wrote on Aug 8, 2008 10:26 PM:
Washington Rez wrote on Aug 15, 2008 5:08 PM:
General_Tzu wrote on Aug 20, 2008 1:24 PM:
It has been hard news to hear about you guys going again and I've kept on top of the news and stories being printed. I was offered to re-enlist, but when I got out, I put that part of my life behind me and began my family and career. May sound weak or selfish, but I did still put in 8 years, which seems like more than what 90% of the population puts in.
It was a good experiance to go in the last deployment. It made me realize the biggest problem with Americans is that they are born in America. This puts them at a disadvantage to see the comparisons between different nations and truly appreciate and know what they have here.
Nothing is more prestigous than serving your country, community or state. And, nothing should be more honorable than taking the risk of dying for your country. It seems that the blood-lust of battle has left many of our generation, but recall what you may only get from (unfortunately) movies, how battle was something that most cultures looked forward to and was a measure of your manhood. I'm just saying, you find yourself in a situation, never regret what you have to do. Never.
Good luck guys, (cont) "
happymom wrote on Aug 23, 2008 8:23 AM:
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