Story Photos
 Photo illustration by Bill Wagner With passions running high, a Super Bowl party could easily turn into a manners-mangling affair. Splashing chips all over and waving a football around are generally discouraged. |
The civilized celebration: Super Bowl etiquitte
Wednesday, February 8, 2006 10:33 AM PST
By Cal FitzSimmons
Printable version
E-mail this articleThere will be Super Bowl parties throughout the country today, including dozens, if not hundreds, right in our area.
Many parties will include both rabid fans and people who don't know the difference between Mack Strong and a Mack truck. When you have that combination of intense passion and gleeful ambivalence there is the potential for conflict.
So, we turned to an etiquette expert for advice on how to ensure social harmony at your Super Bowl party.
That expert, Seattle-based Stephanie A. Horton of Top Dog Etiquette (www.topdogetiquette.com), is known as "The Common Courtesy Coach."
She has an impressive array of credentials, the most important of which for the purpose of this article is that she didn't (politely and gracefully) go running away screaming as soon as she saw the questions.
Also offering advice is Freddy Foamfinger, an invention of this writer. It needs to be pointed out that this writer in no way agrees with Freddy’s boorish advice, so don’t call Cal FitzSimmons on Monday complaining. OK?
It also could be pointed out that this writer did not receive a single invitation to a Super Bowl party. Yes, the editor of the newspaper might expect at least one of his employees to approach at the last minute with a transparently insincere invitation. But oh no, I guess the boss would be too much of a downer for your la-dee-da party.
But pointing out this snub would be bad form, as I’m sure Stephanie would agree, so, we will move on to the purpose of this article.
Here are some potentially awkward moments and expert advice on how to deal with them.
Q: You are attending a Super Bowl party where the invitation states there will be snacks and beverages provided. You want to drink beer during the game but aren’t sure if "beverages" includes alcoholic drinks. Is it OK to bring your own beer? Are you expected to bring anything else?
Stephanie: For football fans in the Pacific Northwest, the Super Bowl is serious business, and hopefully your party hosts understand the critical need for beer with football. Unfortunately, while it is appropriate for you to bring a host/hostess gift (usually a bottle of wine or flowers), it would be inappropriate to bring beer or other beverages for consumption. The exception would be if you were invited to a "potluck," in which case bring on the beer and munchies. It would also be considered just plain wrong to go to your car to chug beers during the commercial breaks.
Freddy: If you get invited to a Super Bowl party, they'd better have plenty of beer, or they're the ones with the so-called etiquette problem. But yeah, bring your own beer, just in case. And make up a sign that says "Bill’s beer," or whatever, so everyone else will keep their freeloading paws off. As far as bringing anything else, it wouldn't hurt to pick up a can of bean dip at a convenience store on the way to the party. True story: I actually went to a party once that didn’t have any canned bean dip. Talk about rude.
Q: You are a Pittsburgh Steelers fan attending a party where most, if not all, of the remaining guests will be fans of the Seattle Seahawks. Is it OK to cheer when the Steelers do well, knowing there will be plenty of people cheering for the Seahawks every time they make a big play?
Stephanie: As long as we remember good sportsmanship, and all of the cheering is done lightheartedly, fans for both teams should feel comfortable cheering to their heart’s content. Temper tantrums, throwing things and swearing uncontrollably (especially in mixed company) would definitely be frowned upon. And, remember to lose graciously (you know who I’m talking about).
Freddy: You sit there silently. Do not wear a Steelers jersey. Don’t even think about waving a Terrible Towel. You won’t have anything to cheer about anyway, so suffer in silence. If by some miracle, the Steelers win (forgive me, Seahawks gods) you take that celebration home with you, lock yourself in the basement and yell your head off.
Q: You’re at a party and not really all that interested in the game. But you are interested in the commercials because they are usually new and clever. Would it be rude to ask people to be quiet so you can hear the commercials?
Stephanie: This seems a good time to remind everyone that the emphasis on the Super Bowl is on the "bowl," and that people want to be able to see -- and hear -- the game clearly, especially this year. We’ve waited a long time in our neighborhood for this game, so I would definitely suggest clarifying a specific "bowl zone" for game watching and "party zone" for eating and talking at your event. How do you do this? Except for chips and nuts, move the major food away from the television screen. People tend to chat over food, so keep it clear of the 50-yard line. About commercials, it would be nice to respect others’ interest in those as well. I recommend having some fun with those by setting up a way to vote for the best commercial, then have a drawing for a fun prize like a Seahawks hat.
Freddy: Commercials? I’m rehashing the Seattle defense’s great job of stuffing the run on the last series and you’re telling me to be quiet so you can hear some guy selling car wax? If you want to see the Blue Man Group pitching Drano you’ll have plenty of opportunities later. By the way, you won’t be thinking those commercials were all that clever by the time you’ve seen them 50 or 60 times. Commercials are best for bathroom trips and beer replenishing.
Q: At a break in the game you head to the lone available bathroom only to see a woman carrying a large makeup case, cell phone and a copy of Steven King’s "The Stand" a few steps ahead of you. Is it OK to cut in front of her so you can get back without missing any of the game?
Stephanie: Whoa! Cutting in the restroom line is a definite party no-no. Sorry! I hate being the bad guy. I recommend getting directions to the second bathroom well in advance, just in case.
Freddy: This is tricky, but here’s what you do: Looking over your shoulder as if distracted, you edge, push or elbow in front of the woman. After you’ve gained dominant door position you pretend you just noticed her, give the woman an apologetic shrug and close the door in her face.
Q: You see a guest double-dipping a chip (dipping, taking a bite, then dipping the chip again) and are deeply disturbed. What is your proper response, if any?
Stephanie: Try traumatized. Double-dipping is definitely bad form, and I’m sure our etiquette-educated Seahawks fans would never double dip, unless caught up in the excitement of the game. Likewise, they would know not to make fun of anyone who happened to lapse into double-dipping land. Simply step away from the table. Step away. Resist the temptation to point and laugh. You can do it.
Freddy: What are you, the dip police? The Seahawks are finally playing in the Super Bowl and instead of jumping up and down as Shaun Alexander breaks off a touchdown run, you’re watching someone eat a chip? Here’s what you do, if you happen to see such a thing: You yell "dude, you just dumped a bunch of your slobber in the dip. Gross!" Then, you have the dip all to yourself for the rest of the game.
This article ran in The Daily News on Sunday, Feb. 5, but was accidentally omitted from the Web.
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