Knockout gift ideas for your favorite sports fans
Sunday, December 19, 2004 12:54 AM PST
By Rick S. Alvord
Printable version
E-mail this articleIn less than a week, a rotund man with a beard will come crashing down your chimney, steal your cookies and milk, drop off a few mysterious items and disappear into the night.
But enough about Al Gore.
With six shopping days left 'til Christmas, the pressure is starting to mount. Maybe you were one of those 2003 procrastinators who waited too long to surprise your favorite sports-minded guy or gal with just the right item.
Maybe, out of desperation, you ended up buying your guy a 64-ounce can of Cheez Whiz for those special halftime moments.
Maybe, because you panicked, you settled for a $9 bottle of perfume and a McChicken coupon for your gal.
Face it, loser. You blew it.
Well, we're here to help. We're your best late-in-the-game hope for a successful holiday gift exchange with that lovable, squeezable sports dude or dudette.
Here's a "12 Hours of Christmas" sleigh cruise down Commerce Avenue, for those who don't want a repeat of last year's losing effort.
6 a.m.: Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots
A dazzling elf generously donated a set of the battling 'bots to our sports department recently, setting off a downward spiral of work production among writers, photographers and editors alike.
This hard-to-find toy was made popular in the 1970s and '80s, when one loudmouth TV commercial child screamed to another, "You knocked my block off!"
Warning: This is not a video game. The only object to the game is to operate your robot's arms so vigorously and rapidly that the enemy robot's head pops up.
Hey, don't dis' it 'til you've tried it. It's downright addictive.
Cost: $21.95 at www.funforalltoys.com
7 a.m.: Rifle scope
Oh, not just any rifle scope, we're talking 'bout the Leupold Vari-X 3-9x28mm compact rifle scope with black matte finish and duplex reticle!
So we've established in recent months that hunting is not some people's cup o' fun. But for those who enjoy zooming in on their intended target with only the finest product on the market, anything "Leupold" will do.
And that's a lofty recommendation, coming from someone whose only prior scope knowledge prior to this Christmas was of the mouthwash variety.
Cost: $271.99 at www.opticsplanet.net
8 a.m.: Taylor-Made r7 Quad Driver
Here's the Cadillac of oversized titanium drivers. According to the press release, the r7 features innovative, proprietary technology that permits you to change the position of the clubhead's center of gravity by installing cartridges in the sole of the club. This allows you to manipulate the launch angle, spin rate and trajectory of your drives.
Yep, sounds like hogwash. But it works. And works well.
The only thing it won't fix is a bad swing. So, for those who don't feel like shelling out big bucks for golf's best driver, spend your dough on lessons.
Cost: $459 at Three Rivers Golf Course pro shop in Kelso (that's $40 less than anywhere else on the I-5 corridor; in addition, through Christmas Eve, you can take an additional 10 percent off the r7 and anything else at Three Rivers).
9 a.m.: Mariners opening day tickets
So you've just got to get an early look at newly acquired Adrian Beltre and Richie Sexson, and the rest of your beloved M's. You've simply must witness Ichiro shaking his booty in the batter's box, live and in person.
Well, here's a chance to get your opening day tickets right now, before they sell out in the spring.
You can sit anywhere you want, but we recommend section 116, row 9 (lots of foul balls to fight over). The Mariners, last place in the AL West in '04, take on the defending AL Central champion Minnesota Twins on Monday, April 4 at 2:05 p.m.
Cost: $130 each.
10 a.m.: More golf
If you're on a budget, and your guy or gal has a thing for the swing, you may want to consider buying a Three Rivers range card, which includes a dozen large buckets of range balls.
After all, there's no reason to buy an expensive driver if your swing resembles a rusty gate.
Cost: $50 ($34 off regular price).
11 a.m.: Yet more golf
Do the words "Pebble Beach" mean anything to you? Yeah, we're stretching our budget here, but it's fun to dream, right?
If cost is no object, you may want to book a foursome at the legendary California course that snakes along the Monterey Peninsula's most picturesque terrain.
Played Pebble Beach three years ago. It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that you truly won't forget.
Cost: $395 for 18 holes. If you stay at least a night at one of Pebble Beach Resort's hotels, the cost of the riding cart is included in the green fees. However ... the cheapest room at the Pebble Beach Lodge is $555 per night; the cheapest at the Inn at Spanish Bay (where we stayed) is $475 per night. For golfers with a conscious, there is an Econolodge in the next county for $57.50 per night.
Noon-6 p.m.: Stocking stuffers
Start with a gift certificate to Outback Steakhouse (Vancouver Mall), where the Bloomin' Onion will make you teary with excitement. ...
Move on to lottery tickets. That's right, give your sports guy something to scratch, besides himself. ...
Throw in a container of Goop. Why? Because, as everyone knows, Goop gets stains out of everything and doesn't taste bad on toast. ...
A sleeve of Titleist Pro-V1 golf balls. A little spendy, sure, but they're the best golf balls out there. Just make sure they last longer than three holes the next time you hit the course. ...
Cash. Anything will do. A Lincoln, Hamilton, doesn't really matter. Sports folk love the green stuff ...
Two tickets to the Washington Park Zoo in Portland, because that's where the monkeys live.
So there you have it. There's no reason to whiff this year.
Then again, if none of these strike your fancy, there's always Cheez Whiz and perfume (preferably in separate wrapping).
Rick S. Alvord is sports editor of The Daily News. He can be reached at ralvord@tdn.com or 577-2527.
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